I usually try to be happy and lighthearted, but I need to get serious for a moment. I’m sure you’ll all agree that the self-checkout lanes at Wal*Mart (or anywhere else) should be reserved for people with 10 items or less. Or, they could administer a proficiency exam to determine whether your skillz are such that you can approach the lane with more than 10 items. But probably never more than 20.

Another serious matter that I think we can all agree on: the red to black ratio in Red Vines Family Mix stinks. There is way more red licorice and not nearly enough black. And maybe the black twists should be branded something other than Red Vines.

If government wants to get involved in our lives, then let’s deal with serious problems like these and leave the car companies alone.